Those stalwart and solid occupants of the Nation’s heartland are hardwired with manners to please Miss Emily Post’s descendants: a friendly wave, please and thank you, yes sir, yes ma’am, and when seething with irritation, a sugary, “bless your heart,” meaning “you idiot.” And in the deepest recesses of their DNA, when complimented on a personal possession, they are compelled to explain the item was found from sheer dumb luck or by searching for eons, until they received the best deal possible. It’s a point of pride to never pay full price. That would be downright impractical.
The guys who currently occupy the Liar’s Roundtable in Attica, Indiana, were recently bestowed gifts from Liberty Nation’s own Editor-in-Chief, Leesa K. Donner, for educating and advising us on the ways of the rural folks. To see them, you’d think they had co-purchased the winning Hoosier Lotto ticket.
Mike has emerged as ringleader of the Roundtable when I am on board for political discussions; he has gotten so efficient at starting current event conversations, I mostly just sit down, listen for the allotted time, and take copious notes. Oh, and drink way too much coffee.
This week, the guys were on fire over North Korea and Kim Jong Un’s, “wishy-washy” style of malevolent dictatorship. Even Donnie, the centrist-never-Trumper of the group, was commiserating with others about the lack of honest and diplomatic dealings that Rocketman recently demonstrated concerning the scheduled summit between North and South Korea.
“Trump may just show that a$$*&^# what a superpower does when snubbed,” he said.
“Give it time, Un is poking the bear. But, he will sit down, get in line, or be buried. I don’t think the president has much patience with the yahoo,” Mike offered, as heads nodded in agreement.
“What happened to all that talk of Trumplomacy, Mike?” Larry questioned. “Or should we start calling on him to show us his Trumpominance over these loose-minded nut-jobs?”
There was a low grumbling around the table, and when “North Korean Parking lot” was uttered, it was time to shut this particular subject down before it ended up in the ditch. A couple of these guys served in the Korean War, and others in Vietnam; losing is no longer an option in their opinions.
When the waitress began the process of pouring refills, she offered her two cents on politics: “I’ve been a noodling on this since your last round; I just want the Democrats to stop complaining and start working. I want Stormy Daniels to zip it, Hillary to disappear and Trump to stop Tweeting. Is that too much to ask?”
The boys returned to ogling their newly gained Liberty Nation swag, holding their prizes in the air for other patrons, and explaining it was a gift from the great people in D.C. who keep track of what the Swamp people are up to, on any given day, and pay attention to the Silent Majority. They simply beamed with pride.
“These were all gifts for our expert opinions,” Mike said to the newest arrival, Robert. “Better get yours before you have to pay full price down the line. We’re getting famous.”